


Like High School

by Liondragon (Sameshima_Shuzumi)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adorable Bruce Banner, Helicarrier-Breaking Buddies, Implied Social Ostracism, Multi, Objectification, On Strike Team Delta's Lawn, Post-Avengers (2012), Prompt Fill, Protective Avengers, SHIELD Gossip, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-21 07:09:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4819910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sameshima_Shuzumi/pseuds/Liondragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SHIELD agents whispering behind Bruce's back. <em>So</em> high school. </p><p>Written for <a href="http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/20763.html?thread=51501595#t51501595">Avengers kink meme</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like High School

_unauthorized duplication and distribution is prohibited_

It's like high school all over again.

Ever since the emergency shut-down of SHIELD's Tumatumari facility, the hallways of the helicarrier have turned into echo chambers for Dr. Bruce Banner. The moment he steps into a space, there's a hush which precedes him. And behind his back, the hush turns into the scrape of boot leather as people turn, accompanied by an escalating wave of whispers.

Bruce feels the _green_ itching at his nape. It's surprisingly easy to ignore. What is he going to do, complain to Fury that his agents are a bunch of... Bruce takes a deep breath. It was the Avengers' call to close down Tumatumari, and for good reason. Bruce isn't surprised when the specter of the Hulk intimidates, but he'd been hoping that Dr. Bruce Banner wouldn't merit the same treatment at SHIELD.

A young agent with a tight ponytail spots him, squeaks, and turns down the nearest corridor.

So much for that.

*

Clint notes it, of course. "It's this new crop of baby agents," he says apologetically, rubbing the back of his head. "They're a little low on the social adjustment scale."

As one, Bruce and Clint glance at Tony. Tony is trying to take a selfie with Steve's ass. Steve is sitting down.

Clint turns back to Bruce. "When the issues were international, they sent teams like me and Nat. These extra-global deals... the hiring pool's almost all out-of-the-box types."

"Hm," says Bruce. Clint is trying, at least.

"Guess it's kind of my fault," Clint says. Bruce meets his eye with a _you and me both, buddy_ look, and Clint laughs. Helicarrier-breaking buddies. Fuck Loki anyway.

"Could you review the orientation packet?" is all Bruce says. Make sure the baby agents know it's not truly personal. It's a bad idea overall to provoke a Code Green.

"Sure, doc."

*

When Natasha sees it, she's appalled. "Are they serious?"

"Facebook generation," says Clint with disgust. "They're rubber-necking!"

"I'm more offended that they're not even subtle about it."

"Weirdoes."

"Bruce is okay," says Natasha, because she never loses sight of objectives. "But this is unacceptable. Banner works here more often than Stark." They should be used to him by now.

A gaggle of agents whip out their phones and start to text as soon as Bruce leaves the room.

"Tempted to file paperwork," says Clint dangerously.

*

Bruce is starting to suspect Agent Chowdhury lacks the ability to produce facial expressions.

He is also tailing Bruce wherever he goes.

Agent Chowdhury's non-dominant arm is in a sling from the Tumatumari incident, though Bruce is assured that it was the tree that got him, and not the Hulk.

Agent Chowdhury doesn't seem to be of this opinion.

At last Bruce has had enough. After loading the last batch of samples, he says, "Did you have something to say, Agent?"

Everyone in the lab freezes. Candace from Requisitions is conveniently hovering by a panic button.

There is no change in the agent's expression, though his lower lip trembles. Bruce is not-that-secretly pleased.

"I thought your performance in Tumatumari was impressive," says Agent Chowdhury. His posture is very good. His face betrays nothing. Bruce takes the time to squint at him over the glasses. Was that a threat? Not that Bruce blames him, even if the injury was an accident. The gall is unbelievable.

"Okay," Bruce says at last. He's mostly bemused, now, not angry. He can hear Tony in his head asking what this guy's damage is.

Thor appears at the doorway, on his way in or out of Foster's lab. "Is there cause for worry, Friend Banner?"

Bruce waves Thor off with an all-clear, and almost misses Agent Chowdhury's eyes sliding around the room, and his quick glance at his shoes.

"I'm sorry if this was uncomfortable. Doctor. Dr. Banner." Then without moving any facial muscles — do they train their agents to do that? — Agent Chowdhury spins around and walks briskly past Thor. They hear the elevator ping.

"Is the meat of his face paralyzed?" Thor inquires.

Bruce shrugs.

Behind him, a few quick whispers build, and then die as Thor narrows his gaze at the back of the room.

What the hell.

*

It's a pleasant to come home — yes, why not, _home_ — for a dinner with just the team.

Then as Steve takes over washing the dishes, Bruce starts to wonder why he's never mentioned anything. Steve's at SHIELD all the time. Tony might be oblivious but Steve hates bullies. Bruce takes his leave. The strangers pointing at him is almost preferable.

Bruce pinches his brow. The Other Guy doesn't seem as bothered, small blessings. It's just another stupid line of thought. High school all over again.

*

"Do I have something on my face?" Bruce mutters to Tony.

They're doing a lab walkthrough, to which Bruce must pay attention because Tony might miss something, but it's difficult with their SHIELD escorts trading speaking gazes every time Bruce bends to examine the set-ups.

"Your adorable dimpled heartbreaker remains unmarred, Brucie," says Tony.

A rubber band hits Tony on the back of the head.

"Okay, who did that?!" Tony roars. Or spits like a wet cat. Bruce laughs. The SHIELD agents remain stiff and poker-faced.

Their eyes follow them out the door.

*

Clint and Natasha get to the helicarrier ahead of Bruce. There's the usual Avengers ogling. Natasha calls it a control sample, which just shows she's been hanging out with scientists too often.

When Bruce swipes in, the effect isn't immediate, but it is noticeable. Some of the agents are _staring_. Okay, between Stark and Potts any Avenger who couldn't get away quickly enough received a small fortune in tailored clothes, so that accounts for some of the ass-watching. Still rude, considering Bruce's yearly count of Hulk-ripped trousers.

Finally Strike Team Delta manages to sneak up on a group in one of the snack annexes. 

But it's too late. 

Bruce takes his organic granola bar and glares at the cluster of gawkers. Clint makes bug-eyes at Natasha. Everyone exhales when Bruce huffs and walks out. Nat is vacillating between going after him and staying, when one of the agents _elbows_ her friend.

"Oh my god, Kerri! He looked right at me!"

"Shut it, he was looking at me."

"That was so intense. It was smoldering."

"I forgot to redo my makeup after the debriefing, do you think he likes the natural look?"

"He doesn't even know your names. I personally handed him a form—"

"Are his hands really soft?"

"He can disarm my bombs any time."

If they could press their noses to the corridor windows, they would.

"Shush, here comes Captain Rogers! Double booty alert."

"Yeah right, Cap is unattainable. Dr. Banner's got the rumpled down-to-Earth look."

"Kipruto says he's close to finding his locker..."

"We're doomed! Calves-of-Steel Kipper wants to pass notes?"

"Yeah, he says he might be having a sexuality crisis. I told him it was the glasses kink."

"Chowdhury got close, but last I heard he checked himself into the infirmary for being too nervous to smile."

"We warned him not to stare at the chest hair. Or the chest."

"Tills and Veracruz are starting to back out of their threesome plans."

"HR has realistic goals. They're hoping for a kissing booth."

Clint slips out, but not before hearing the Hulk crush club make high-pitched noises about Bruce's lips.

Steve is apologizing to Bruce.

"—didn't realize you thought that," Steve's saying unhappily. Duh, of course Steve's super-hearing had clued him in early.

Bruce looks floored. He sees Clint, and probably sees his expression mirrored there. "I. Huh. But this... this all started after I destroyed SHIELD property." He crumples the hem of his shirt with his hands. Clint can practically hear the enamored sighing.

"Bruce," says Steve warmly, "You infiltrated a multi-ethnic community by yourself, fooled both SHIELD and the enemy for over twenty-four hours, faked three different forms of identification—"

"The biometrics were, were from a decade ago," stammers Bruce.

"—sneaked past five layers of security with Tony only on comms half the time, deciphered an alien dialect, and rushed into a radiation zone to prevent a catastrophic overload. That's before Hulk held the roof up to help evacuate. And before you stayed to cook everyone dinner from root vegetables you found in the pitch-dark _jungle_." Steve raises a brow, grinning. "That's more than enough for a self-taught civilian to bowl over pretty much every department of SHIELD in one day."

Clint shoots Bruce an _I had no idea_ look. Bruce is at a loss.

"I dunno about a day. Accounting might've waited on your mission report," offers Clint. "You took extra time to convert bartered wildfowl into American dollars."

As though on cue, Melinda May marches past, tablet cradled like a sexy schoolteacher. Steve's grin becomes fixed when May checks out Bruce's ass without moving her head.

In the distance, Clint hears Natasha start to cackle.

Bruce bites his lip. Damn, Clint's seeing it too. "I don't understand," Bruce says.

In a mild voice, Steve says, "You think the big strapping hotshots can't get tongue-tied and starry-eyed?"

Bruce goggles at Steve.

Clint thinks this whole thing is one point for getting his GED between missions.

*

The next time they're assembled at SHIELD HQ, the team form a protective wall around Bruce, who has yet to come to terms with an entire government agency swooning over him.

"Remember, Bruce, no means no," says Tony.

A meeting breaks up. The cluster of agents slow down as they pass them in the hall.

"Good morning Dr. Banner!" they chorus.

"Oh my God, he got Charlie's Angel'd," breathes Clint. Tony looks jealous that the rest of them, or the rest of Tony got passed over.

Natasha is not laughing. She's _not_. She's walking around with the cool kids. 

Steve murmurs, "You oughta answer your fan-mail, Bruce. The Linguistics department's puns are starting to get awfully raunchy."

Bruce blushes.

Just another day in the corridors of SHIELD.

   
   
   


**Author's Note:**

> Note for guests that most of my AO3 fics are locked to signed-in users. Copies are for private use only, do not repost. Bruce Banner and his adoring Marvel fans do not belong to me.  
> Thanks to peaceheather, kweandee, ems4179, two lovely Anons, purplean, and suncatstudio for their kind comments. And...!  
> This fic is half the doing of Reige17, who had a magnificent prompt, perfect prompt is perfect ... it was hardly any work to whip it up. Also: Bruce Banner, am I right?


End file.
